I usually give updates, or thoughts on the wonderfulness that is the show #Glee, but going in a different vein today, for that I apologize in advance, for those who only want happiness during the Christmas season, I am not feeling it today. I have been feeling disconnected from church and family for about a month or so and have not been able to put a finger on the reason for it. On the outside everything appears normal or even accomplishing great things for God. Inside, I have felt an intense loneliness and loss of connection with those around me.
An example of this was at two separate get togethers that occurred within a month, one I fixed beef brisket and had about 13 people over, to enjoy some time together. Yet, even being surrounded by people the whole night, still felt incredibly alone and not happy. It even got to the point, that I walked off and went downstairs to get away from everyone and reflect, yet, that did not help the feeling of aloneness.
Then on saturday, at sunday school party, with about 25 people there, still was feeling disconnected from everyone around me, even in a big crowd, and big crowds don't help, been to church at my church: www.houstonsfirst.org and that seats 3000 or so in worship center, and still felt alone and out of sorts, to point, that I was supposed to eat with class at a get together with out pastor: Gregg Matte and just went straight out the door instead of hanging out.
I am puzzled by what is causing this and if I had any common sense would probably really freaking out on my current emotional or lack thereof emotional state. The song "Stronger" by Hillsong helps some, sometimes doesn't make a dent in my emotions.
I just wanted to put this down in writing, just to get it off my chest, it accomplished nothing, but it is done.
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